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WORRY/ANXIETY Fixing Your Self-Esteem Session 1 Charles Hodges MD To download this lesson as an mp3 file Right click and select SAVE LINK or SAVE LINK AS |
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| I. Introduction |
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A. Self-love/esteem/worth philosophy has become part of the fabric of our society. It has become an easy explanation for sins and problems of all kinds. B. There are several reasons we should be suspicious of the idea. |
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1. It has only been viewed as a "Christian" idea since the 1970's. 2. Research indicates that it does not work (footnote) 3. It has not been held as true by the church. II Tim. 3:1-2 4. The Bible denies it as has historic Christianity. Phil 2:3-4 5. For many it has replaced the Bible in dealing with sin. 6. It steals glory that belongs to God. Jer. 9:23-24 |
| II. What is Self image/esteem/worth and self love? |
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A. Concept of self image/esteem/worth can be best described as a judgment one makes as he evaluates himself. See list of inadequacies and inferiorities. |
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1. Self image is the conclusion we come to as we answer the questions. 2. Feelings are generated by the conclusions. 3. Self image is a thought process, not a part of my being. |
| B. Self image is not an emotion or feeling but cognition or thinking. |
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1. It starts as a thought process 2. The person then feels good or bad about the thought. 3. The objective of the Christian is not a good or positive self image but an accurate one based on Biblically correct perceptions and evaluations. |
| III. How can we help? |
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| A. The solution is paradoxical. | |
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1. Instructing counselee to love themselves does not help. 2. Attempts to satisfy the perceived need for self worth will not satisfy that need and may only increase it. |
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B. The counselee needs to turn his attention away from his own needs and onto Christ and the needs of others. Luke 9:23-25 |
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1. The Biblical solution to the problems of self worth is reserved for Christians. Non-believers need evangelism. 2. The Christian is called to deny self not love self. Those living in sin and selfishness must repent. 3. Then they must take up the cross and follow Christ and set aside selfish desires and replace them with serving the Lord. |
| C. Data Gathering |
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1. Work with the counselee to identify historical events that predate the current problem thinking and behavior. 2. How did the counselee respond in thought and action? Did the response show a lack of scriptural knowledge, poor stewardship or outright sin? Did they sin into this problem or were they sinned against? 3. What idols of the heart grew out of the event and their response? 4. What thinking and behavior are present as a result? |
| D. Give Hope |
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1. Those who believe they are worthless, unlovable and unloved need hope. Explain 1 Cor.10:13 and have them memorize it. 2. Christ and Your Problems , in the first homework assignment. 3. Lay the groundwork to make certain you are dealing with a believer. As homework give them a gospel tract to read and underline to be discussed at the next visit. |
| E. Second Session - Change their motive. |
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1. Their motive has been to feel better by esteeming self and by dealing with those who have caused my problem. 2. Motive must become Biblical. 3. 2 Cor.5:9 "I want to glorify God with my life more than I want to breathe!" God becomes the primary object of our thinking and action. Matt. 6:21 - Where is your treasure and heart? 4. Matt. 22:37-39. This is expressed by Loving God with all our being and then loving others. 5. John 14:21 Those who love God will keep his commandments including those that apply to how we relate to others. 6. John 13:12-17. The counselee who loves God and others will serve others as Jesus did. When we serve it takes our minds off our own problems. Do the things you Know and be Blessed. 7. Nail down the issue of Salvation by reviewing the gospel tract. 8. Practical assignments. a. Church attendance is a must. Heb.10:24-25 b. Daily Bible reading. Psalm 19:7-9 1Peter 2:1-2 c. Daily Prayer particularly for others. d. Daily Journal for homework performance. 9. Accountability partner. Prov.27:17 a. Counselee needs a friend to help them. b. Meet in another hour during the week. c. Study another resource on progressive sanctification. d. Check on homework e. Pray together. 10. Christian service should begin in the second week. a. Someone worse off than they are. Not a relative. b. Must be a person. Counselee cannot be paid. c. Work needs to be done two hours a week. |
| F. Third Session |
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1. Progressive sanctification. Ephesians 4:22-24 a. Growth and Change does not depend on our efforts even though we must participate by "putting off." b. Change is empowered by the Holy Spirit. Zech.4:6, Eph.1:18-20, Change is God’s work. Eph.2:8-10 c. Believers are not obligated to or enslaved to sin. Romans 6:1-8 d. The counselee needs to put off his desire to be esteemed by others and put on a biblical response. 2. A drill to change thinking and acting. a. Constant thinking on the need to be esteemed by self or others amounts to worry and is a sin. Phil 4:6 b. Confess it as such to God and seek his forgiveness. 1 John 1:9 c. Thank God for the circumstances that have resulted in the bad feelings. James:1:2-5. d. Pray and ask God how to grow in the situation. Ask for a better solution. Luke 22:42 e. Recite Romans 8:1 and 8:28-29 f. Decide who you are going to serve in the place of serving self and focus thought and action on doing that. 1 Cor. 10:24 g. Diary the process at an appropriate time. h. At first the counselee will need to do this many times a day whenever thinking drifts to the need for self worth. Persistent training will lead to habit and then character. |
| G. Forth Session: Putting on an accurate self image. |
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1. Counselee needs to be called to repent of disagreeing with the truth scripture teaches about believers. 2. The scriptures do not describe believers as worthless, unlovable, or unloved. 3. The goal is to teach the counselee an accurate assessment from the scriptures. Romans 12:3. 4. This requires honesty in thinking and communication. See Four Rules of Communication. 5. A variety of scriptures can be used to show how God describes believers. Rom. 4:22-24 Credited as righteous. Rom. 5:17 Declared as justified. 6. Ephesians 1:4-10 Paul describes those in Christ as blessed, chosen, holy, blameless, predestined, adopted, loved, redeemed, forgiven, and rich. Eph. 2:8-10 God has a purpose for us as He created us for good works. 7. The counselee cannot continue to deny the truth of scripture and blame their feelings and actions on others. 8. Use the drill above in F2 (from Session 3) to promote changing thinking and action. |